I was drawn to become a mediator because despite the hard work, mediating is a rewarding process that gives me joy at the end of a long, hard fought mediation between parties who “never thought they would settle.” 

The hard work of a mediation is gratifying and difficult, and I am always filled with pride, not of my efforts, but of the parties’ labor to confront the difficult truths of their dispute and the good and bad of their “positions” they had steadfastly pushed for so many years. I’ve seen parties screaming five hours earlier now walking the hallway towards their cars with joyous smiles when a deal is reached. I enjoy giving the parties the opportunity to find resolution – no more attorney calls, no more signing verifications, no more sitting for depositions – and you can see it in the parties’ eyes when they know the lawsuit is done. As the mediator, I have the privilege of guiding both sides towards a settlement, which they may not have thought was possible or at least feasible.  By 5:00 pm, I had walked through all their emotional turmoil to help them reach the unattainable.  I feel privileged they trusted me enough to let me participate in their dispute and to walk through this foreign process of mediation to help “end the fight.”  As mediators, we do not get the glory of a large award or the celebrated defense verdict, but as a mediator, I do not want such public recognitions – two bitter rivals shaking hands in my blue carpeted hallway for a few seconds is all I need.

Can you share a memorable mediation experience?

I had a business dispute mediation involving numerous terms, some economical, others not, and during the ZOOM mediation I created a spreadsheet and with screen-sharing worked through each option with counsel.  As he was valuing some and not others, he blurted out “this is fun!” Rarely, is “fun” a description I get during the heat of the negotiations, so I took it.

What qualities do you believe are essential for a mediator?

An essential quality for a mediator is unyielding optimism. A mediator must wholeheartedly believe every case will and should settle. Without impenetrable optimism, a mediator cannot persevere against the negativity of negotiations.  

Counsel invariably will start a mediation by reciting why a case will not settle, and even if not, a distasteful offer or demand will come during the day that will support their negativity.  A great mediator projects optimism and confidence during all times to show the parties a settlement is always possible. 

What do you think is the most common misconception people have about the mediation process?